Lessons from life that everyone learn

“Every situation in life enriches one’s background and should teach valuable lessons”

You get hurt. Then, you cry and you cry hoping that somehow the tears flowing from your hurting heart will magically heal your world or solve the issue at hand and make everything okay. And you wonder why everything isn’t becoming okay… Maybe, this hope is inspired from the depiction seen in reel scripts. In movies and serials, when the characters cry and there is a terrible mess of a situation, they get support in the form of either a few people or a lot of people. Remarkably, there emerges a way in the face of a seemingly hopeless situation. It makes it all right with a happy ending of that chapter of life.

It might take a while but you soon realize that real life doesn’t unfold like that in the movies or serials. Reality is far from show scripts. Everything doesn’t just become all right always. Other people are human and not supernatural beings who can magically transform your situation or grant wishes. What seems a big life-changing event for you may just be so from your view point. You feel that no one seems to understand the gravity of your hurt.

But, when you see yourself objectively, you learn that every experience is a part of life. There is neither a magical solution to, nor any escape from reality. You finally dry your tears, having exhausted your supply. You slowly pick yourself up. You appreciate the people in your life who support you by their presence, while you try and collect your broken pieces. You learn to be your own best ally. You come to learn that in life, you have to “Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it.”

You learn to accept that sometimes, there is no closure. Some things remain suspended even though you seek clarity. But that’s how life is - uncertain. This teaches you to live with life’s ambiguities. You will know where to reach out to reminisce your best moments…they are always inside your heart.

In spite of it all, it also makes you learn to believe in further change of winds. Having survived one, you learn to move ahead with all learnings, yet with a smile, and to look forward to life with all its vagaries, wondering where it will lead you next.

You come to the important realization that, living from moment to moment is the only true way to fully live. Life is in this moment. And moments pass. It is for memories to remind you of the wonderful moments you have lived. You do not have to be stuck in a particular moment. That would rob you of the opportunity of life which is waiting for you in this present moment. When you understand and accept this, situations cease to be devastating and instead, are taken in stride. This also assures you that your best moments which you hold close to your heart, will be a source of joy for you because in that moment, you experienced them completely.
Finally, you understand the great secret of life i.e. all experiences, despite being unpredictable, are a part of life. Hyping and dramatizing them out of proportion only works in movies and television. Instead, focusing on making the most of now is a more fruitful pursuit and saves a lot of mental turmoil.

Everyone learns this stuff at some point of time in their lives. Here is my call to you all:

Your real script is yours to write. Make it one of chasing grand dreams, overcoming challenging obstacles, accepting all events as parts of life and most importantly, valuing the capacity of the present moment to give you the gift of life, if you let it. Being present completely in the here and now is the best way to receive this gift. So go on, Carpe diem*! Remember, the only predictor of a good tomorrow, is to have a good day today!

* Carpe diem = A Latin aphorism, usually translated "seize the day" or “enjoy the moment”, taken from book 1 of the Roman poet Horace's work Odes (23 BC).

A JOG IN THE PARK

31^st December 2015. 7 pm on a winter evening with a pleasant weather, a light breeze caressing my skin, not too cold. A suggestion by a building friend to go for a jog in the nearby Jogger’s Park led to a new experience. It was my first ‘official’ jog. I was feeling excited and happy about it. The feeling of doing something new brought a spring to my step.

So, there we stood equipped with headphones and the will to do an hour of jogging. To be frank, I had compiled a playlist of groovy songs to listen to, while doing the rounds. But I felt like listening to good instrumental music and that’s what I did. I started out with Acoustic music of “Let her go”, then piano by Yanni - “A walk in the rain” and “A night to remember”. I let my friend go at the pace she pleased and I set out to explore myself and experience this new activity.

As I jogged and walked, I realized that I was feeling alive. I was being present in the moment. The music and the ambience and the activity made me smile and caused me to ponder upon a few things. I had some philosophical musings along the way.

I was trying to form a pattern for myself, like 1 round of jogging and another of walking and so on. I experimented with it. I realized that I began to lose my self-consciousness and just enjoyed my own company and the surroundings. As I saw other people pass by, I realized that we are not in a race with each other. So, what mattered is one’s own pace and reflecting on one’s own self and focusing on improving oneself. The twists and turns of the path kept me wondering and made me learn to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust the path.

Also, I was reminded that my dad had once been advised by a doctor to walk and jog on smooth paths so as to avoid any leg pain. But the path here was one of concrete. I mused then that marathon roads and, life in general, for that matter, are not a smooth ride always. In fact, adapting and getting one’s body accustomed to weather-beaten paths or uneven terrains is what will strengthen a person and will give one a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment. The troubles in life are challenges and not problems but puzzles. I was reminded of a sentence said by one of my best friends that, life is how you look at it. So, why worry? :) Just be in the moment and make the most of it because you won’t get one like it again! :D

Another thing that struck me was that while I was having such epiphanies, half an hour had already gone by! This helped me to realize that much can be accomplished in half an hour too. My warped idea of time wherein I keep feeling that I am slow and time rushes by, got placed in some perspective.

Then, I switched to a beautiful piece of music – the Raag Hamsadhwani on the flute. It was a blissful feeling! Listening to the melodious and pleasant tune, I noticed my surroundings. The plants and trees in their lush splendor were silently watching over the park and lovingly observing me while they were resting. The flute music made me look toward the heavens and admire the bluish black of the night sky and gave me a sense of joy and peace.

The New Year lights and decorations in the adjoining buildings exuded a festive and warm glow which radiated a feeling of contentment and happiness. The park was not fully lit and hence, some areas were in darkness. In others, the path appeared splattered with shadows of plants and people, interspersed with the blotches of light that fell from the dispersed lamps through the leaves of the plants. It was as though the light was squeezing its way in and playfully, forming kaleidoscopic patterns with the shadows. The green of the lawn in the middle of the park, which now appeared dark, was also dimly lit because of the sprinkled light of the lamps in it.

Love and fear are both, powerful feelings. The warmth that the place exuded mingled with the soft glow of the yellow lights made me less fearful of the dark and instead, I started to find it beautiful. The moment filled me with love! Love for nature and for solitude and the music and the stars and skies.

The shadows told me the tale of their loyalty. A profound statement I had once read came to me, “You are the only one who is always going to be there for you. Till you die, the one person who is unfailingly going to be with you is you”. The most important relationship that you have is the one with yourself. And so, on this journey of learning to love myself, I loved myself a little more then.

I accepted the joy I was experiencing and thanked my legs and feet for being my staunch allies. It was them who joined me when I resolved that if not run or jog, I will not stop. Walk if nothing else is possible. It made me aware of and value my feet.

As I was coming closer to the end of my allotted one hour, I decided to experience something different. I removed my headphones and did a round of jogging. I listened to my own heart and breath and the sound of my feet hitting the earth below as I moved forward. Of course, the sound of vehicles also came to my ears, but that was the beauty of it all. I could focus on myself in spite of what was going on around. That is the true meaning of peace. I placed a hand over my heart and felt its steady beating and felt very much alive in that moment.

Along the path, I saw a ‘champa’ flower on the side of the lawn. It was lying there as if waiting for someone to pick it up and appreciate its beauty. I picked it up and jogged the remainder of my journey with it in my hand. At the end, I placed it in between a few leaves where it can enjoy moments of admiration by other people too and rest in a loving place. The beauty of the moment was that I accepted the beauty and joy given by that flower without worrying about facts about why it was fallen down and why didn’t anybody else pick it up and take it away.

It was indeed a nice end to 2015. It held promise for the New Year about strengthening my resolution of learning something new every day.